We understand parents are parents and nothing can change about that. Sometimes, they go a little bit harsh in delivering their parent’s duties.
When we are in defense mode, we are unable to see the other person’s point of view. You may think that you never did anything wrong, but you need to be open to the possibility. After all, you are human. We all are. You make mistakes because you have your own misguided ideas about how things should be, who your children should be, and your role as parents. The point is, you have to be willing to admit you made a mistake if you hope to heal the relationship. Many parents say their child had no reason to walk away. They (the parents) did nothing wrong. They were good parents forgetting that they made the mistakes.
Don’t Justify Yourself and Call it an Apology
You may be tempted to start your apology with “I’m sorry for whatever it is you think I did wrong, but I always did my best.”Please don’t do this. How would you respond to an apology like that? If you ever hope to reconcile with your child, your apology must be a true apology. If you have done some soul searching and have seen some of the ways you failed, start there. Say something like this:” I understand I have hurt you but if you had told me why you did XYZ I wouldn’t have yelled. I’m sorry”.
Don’t Make Your Child Responsible for your Happiness
Saying things like “You have hurt me so much I just want to die” or “How could you walk away from me like this, I am your mother!” will not bring them back into your loving arms.
If you think your children came into the world just to meet your emotional needs, you need to go back to the beginning and think that through. We bring our children into the world to find their way and make lives for themselves. We happen to be parents whose children chose to do that without us along for the trip. It really sucks, I know. But what sucks more is expecting someone else to make us happy.
Saying you deserve their respect, no matter what is a sign that you are clueless about how to have a healthy relationship with them. Your children really don’t owe you anything. You gave them all that you gave them because you love them, not to make them beholden to you. At least that is how I understand parental love.
Source: Abi Writes