In a world overrun and driven by social media approval, what had long since been deemed private no longer is. In fact, that privacy is now perceived as an act of discontentment towards your partner. The sacred nature of relationships almost no longer exists.
From Instagram stories to Facebook posts, Snapchat stories to WhatsApp statuses. Everywhere is filled with pictures of happy and content couples and then you begin to wonder how come your relationship cannot be like theirs.
What are you doing wrong? Now here is the bittersweet truth… What you see is not real. What you are seeing is for the camera. That everyday update of relationship perfection does not exist.
I daresay true relationship happiness rarely has time for perfect pictures.
What At All Are We Doing Then?
Simply, we are creating picturesque story of what we think people expect our relationship to be like. That should bring you a question. Is the relationship yours or for “people”?
Publicizing a relationship opens the relationship up for public scrutiny and opinions of how you SHOULD love and be loved. It creates the idea that you’re not loving right or worse yet, you ARE!
“Worse yet”? Yes. Worse because your “perfect” loving serves as a pacesetter for the public to follow, especially for those who do not have the emotional, psychological and financial capacity to have your kind of relationship.
Relationships are not perfect. Relationships have flaws, individual and couple flaws. Relationships have problems, arguments, and lots of ugly moments, but do we see that on social media? Rarely! With the constant facade of perfection that you have created in the public eye, there is that pressure to keep the perfection up. Why?? Because the moment you stop, the people will sense there is something wrong, and No, you don’t want them to see that. So you create an unreal perfection for the public and henceforth everything you do in YOUR relationship is no longer for your relationship but for the public.
Then I’ll ask again, “what the hell are you doing?”
There is a reason relationships are deemed part of a person’s private life. In fact that’s what a person’s private life is. His/her relationships.
A private relationship has one Key advantage to me.
Room for error!
We agreed that relationships aren’t perfect, right?
Those imperfections in the relationships need room for corrections. Those mistakes in relationships need a closed door atmosphere to analyze and repair what’s broken without public interference. The public aren’t you. You are not them. They do not love the way you do. And they do not think the way you do. The do no share in the little intimate moments that actually define your relationship although they help celebrate some of them, and that’s beautiful. But your relationship is unique to you alone and understanding comes from communication between those involved in the relationship, not public perception of how things should be done.
Believe it or not, private relationships make the beautiful moments even more sacred.
We wonder about the high rates of heartbreaks and divorce in this current generation as compared to our parents and grandparents who had long, although not always beautiful but still beautiful relationships. Well, there was no social media or public relationships then. Even if there were, they were few. So there’s your answer.
Now I’m not saying posting pictures of your beautiful moments on the media is bad. No. Far from that. Those pictures are occasional reminders of your beautiful moments and help you get through the ugly ones. Those pictures are celebrations of memories and give the public the chance to partake in those celebrations. You even make their day by letting them in on your happy moments and give them an example of sorts to follow. But there should never be the NEED to make your relationship public. Rather we should seek to keep it as low key as possible with the occasional pictures to inspire others.
Those rare pictures make the moments even more significant to you and to the public.
And besides, not all good things last forever so when the happy moments with your partner inevitably come to an end, breaking up is easier because there is little or no public scrutiny or opinion that you’ll have to worry about. Only your happiness and what is good for you.
As always, it’s Peace!