My name is Lawrence, no Lawrencia instead! I’m confused because I don’t even know my identity! I don’t know whether I’m a boy or a girl! I was a boy by birth but currently a girl. This is no fault of mine and I believe you will understand my plight after telling you my story. Let’s use Lawrencia as I currently live like a girl which I’ve been made to believe I am!
I am the third born of the family. My parents lived happily together till they had their second born. Dad actually wanted just a child and he wanted a female. He didn’t plan to give birth to two or more children as his intention was to give birth to just a female. My parents weren’t happy when their first child turned out to be male, Dad was the one who made mom unhappy about the child because Dad had insisted on numerous occasions that he wanted just a girl.
Though Mom wanted a boy, she wanted Dad to be happy so her prayer was to give birth to a girl. My parents didn’t give up on having a girl child so they decided to welcome another child into the family. The second child also turned out to be a boy. Dad was so angry upon hearing his second child was a male. He didn’t even want to set his eyes on the child!
The birth of the second child almost led to a divorce but Mom wasn’t ready for a divorce, she kept reassuring Dad that they should welcome one more child. Though my Dad wasn’t interested at the initial stage, he accepted to welcome another child after five years. That was when I came into the picture.
My Mom is a Christian but not a strong one, she used to tell me she was very strong in her youthful days. She told me she never took her fasting and prayers lightly. She even told me she was once the President of the Scripture union in her school. When I asked Mom what happened to her spirituality, she couldn’t tell me how she became a weak and unconcerned Christian. I sometimes attributed that to Dad’s atheism! Yes, my Mom married an atheist!
My dad threatened to divorce my mom on my tenth birthday since my mom couldn’t give him a female child, besides he didn’t plan to give birth to three kids but one, and since Mom couldn’t give him a female child he didn’t see any reason to live together as a family. Mom was also not ready for a divorce so took a decision, a decision that affected my entire life and led to a mistake I made which I can never rectify.