1. I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

2. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!

3. I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing.”

4. Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea.

5. I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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