Is she just being nice or is it more?
Should you make a move?
Should you ask her out?
Should you ask for a second date?
Should you kiss her (or better yet, ask if you can)?
It can be a tough call to make. As a woman, I know that we’re socialized to do a lot of the emotional labor when interacting with a man.
We feel like it’s our responsibility to make sure his feelings aren’t hurt, that we don’t reject him too hard, that we make him feel heard, that we acknowledge him and not ignore him.
We’re taught in all sorts of little ways to be super friendly even when we don’t really want to be. We want to be likeable, and part of that means making everyone else feel liked.
We’ve all learned how to let a guy down gently and how to avoid making him feel rejected (even when we’re rejecting him).
We’re taught to smile even when we’re uncomfortable.
So, even though we all give signs when we don’t like someone (or don’t like them as more than a friend), they’re subtle and often get misinterpreted.
If you want to know if a girl really likes you or is just being friendly or polite, here are the signs you should look for.
She Acts Nervous (But in a Good Way)
If she likes you, she won’t be able to play it cool when you’re around.
Your attention makes her blush. She acts a little shy when speaking with you. She laughs at your jokes, even the ones you’re pretty sure aren’t all that good.
She might also seem a little off her game. Sadly, my game is at its best when I care less. I make bold moves because they’re fun, I say what comes to my mind instead of second guessing it. But when I start developing real feelings, I struggle more. I play it safer.
If her game isn’t at 100%, it’s probably because she likes you. She wants to impress you, entice you, and get closer to you but she’s worried she’ll mess it up and that makes her a little too nervous.
And if you make her nervous in the wrong way? You’ll be able to tell because she won’t be engaged. She’ll feel like she’s trying to close herself off or pull away, not trying to connect with you. Respect that and save your attention for someone who will want and appreciate it.
Her Body Language Is Inviting
If she’s into you, you’ll feel it in the way she positions and moves her body.
She’ll turn toward you. She’ll try to get close to you. She’ll try to touch you, even if she makes it look like an accident. Even if a girl wants you to make the first move, she’ll do something to nudge you in that direction, like putting her hand next to yours.
You’ll get lots of eye contact and plenty of smiles from her. She won’t be spending her time looking away like she wants an excuse to leave or something better to look at.
She’ll also be responsive to your body language. If you move in closer to her or touch her, she won’t pull away. (Though be careful not to overdo this one. Keep it subtle so that she can gently move away without feeling awkward.)
She Mirrors You
Imitation is a form of flattery. If she likes you, it will be like your mannerisms are contagious. She might use the same turn of phrase you just used or smirk the way you just did.
It’s not usually deliberate. When you like someone, you pay attention to every little thing they’re doing and you subconsciously imitate it.
If she’s mirroring you, that means she’s locked in and focused on you. And that’s a good sign.
She’s Preening and Primping
Having a crush on someone feels really good (usually, anyway), but it does come with a few little uncomfortable feelings. One of them is self-consciousness.
When I like someone, I’m highly aware of myself when they’re around. I want to make a good impression, I want them to think I’m attractive, so I spend my whole time low-key wondering whether I have any strands of hair sticking out of place, how my shirt looks, and how I’m holding my purse.
If she seems to be constantly fussing with her appearance, playing with her hair, adjusting her clothes, and just generally fidgeting, take it as a sign that she likes you and she hopes you like her, too.
She’s Creating a Connection with You
If she wants to build a connection with you, she’ll do it in two ways.
First, she’ll show genuine interest in you. She’ll ask a lot of questions to get to know you better. And she won’t be shy about going a little deeper than the surface stuff.
Second, she’ll open up to you. She’ll find opportunities to share details about herself and revealing parts of her personality.
If you’re also asking questions, you’ll be learning about each other, getting excited about each other, and getting closer in the process. You should be able to feel that energy between you two.
Watch Out For Part 2