Sexual assault: Some Things We Seldom Talk About And The way Forward

Sexual assault? An act in which a person intentionally sexually touches another person without that person’s consent or coerces or physically forces a person to engage in a sexual act against their will. Sexual assault comes in different forms:🔅Rape (of all kinds) 🔅Groping🔅Child abuse🔅Fondling🔅Stalking etc

What always pops up with the issue of sexual assault is the concept of free will or consent. It is however important to know that the issue of consent must run throughout the process. Thus, consent can change at any time. You would have assaulted someone sexually even if he or she gave a consent at the onset but withdrew the consent in the process. It is that serious. Rape is a type of sexual assault  usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person’s consent. Anybody at all can be raped. But it mostly happens to women. Research shows that females victims are much more likely to be assaulted by acquaintances such as friend or coworker, a dating partner, an ex boyfriend or husband or any intimate partner than by a complete stranger. Mind you it doesn’t mean strangers are not dangerous but what it means is that rapists or ‘assaulters’ are closer to us than we think. If you give birth, also become careful of your brothers, family members. Keep an eye on your children(those of us with kids) for we have heard stories too many about uncles defiling babies, teachers and so on.

Rape is actually a big deal than we have been made to believe. It has dire complications on the victims. That is why we must all come on board to support them and also deal with the situation. Victims are affected in every sphere of life. You name it; physically, emotionally, mentally even financially. It’s that bad. Rape causes anxiety, moodswings, promiscuity, trust issues, post traumatic stress disorders, addiction etc. It is hard to predict the effect rape will have on a victim. It happens for many reasons.

One thing we must understand is that rape is and will never be the fault of the victim. This is very dear to my heart. I have seen people talk about females not dressing well and females visiting guys and the likes but the truth is that no matter what the victim must have done to lead you on, the blame should never be put on the victims. I know it’s hard to take and we can debate on that. But that’s what stands in court and that’s what I personally go with. So we can look at the surface level we can talk about the dressing and the staying in obscure corners with offenders. That is victim blaming. It is a cause of rape but at the root level we can also look at these:

A sense of entitlement: rapists(especially men) think they have right to a woman’s body.

Gender-based stereotypes: the way society sees men and women. Men are seen as aggressive whereas women are expected to be submissive. This creates a wrong idea in the minds of our men that even when a woman says NO you must not stop. As a man you must push on.

Drug induced: this mostly happens during hangouts and dates where alcohol and drugs gets the best of victims.Because I mentioned drug induced I’ll divert briefly to DATE RAPE. Date rape also known as acquaintance rape for obvious reasons. In simple terms, it is rape by a friend, romantic suitor, peer using violence, verbal pressure, drugs or threats. This term became popular when it was becoming clear that most rape were being done by people that were close. BE MINDFUL OF YOUR BESTIE. The streets aren’t safe anymore. Incase someone falls victim or you know someone who has fallen victim these are some of the ways we can help:

1. Assure the person that the feeling the person is having is a normal reaction to the trauma. People go through a lot even to the extent of blaming themselves, hating themselves and thinking they are not worthy. Assure them that those are just symptoms and not a reality of who they are. Boost their esteem up. Assure them that healing is possible.

2. Flashbacks are likely to happen. So identify the triggers and avoid them as much as possible. Find trusted people and have them around you.

3. Don’t hide behind drugs or alcohol: dealing with the issue is hard but the worst you would do is to numb the pain with certain things like drugs. Seek counseling from appropriate quarters as it is hard dealing with it alone. This is where we need to be good friends and help survivors out.

4. Nurture yourself. The best revenge is to succeed. Take it slowly. It is painful but you take it a day at a time. Avoid movies that have rape scenes. Watch movies that cheer you up. Work on your goals. Let’s walk through some lessons and some from the Bible.

🔅 Rape is not the fault of the victim but rather a revelation of the depravity of the offender. It doesn’t matter how the person responded to your advances. Once there is no consent Charley don’t go there. Also, know that sex is not good outside marriage how much more a forced one?

🔅 Guys…ladies…just because the path unfolds does not mean you should take it. The Bible admonishes us to flee from sexual sin. One very impressive story we can learn from is the story of Joseph. Joseph had the opportunity to have his way with his master’s wife. He would have had consent from the beginning to the end. And he would have had the opportunity to come back to her anytime he felt like it. But what did he do? A. He considered the act a sin against God. It is a forbidden fruit and he must not taste it. B. He looked into the future to see he could not sacrifice the glory ahead for the pleasures of the now.

🔅We must learn to control ourselves as men and women. He who controls himself is mightier than he who conquers the city.And finally,

🔅Our society needs Christ. A society without Christ will come crushing down because the center will not hold. Do you know why being the only Christian in the community is not safe? There’s something we call externality. The actions of ungodly men will affect you. We must therefore lead others towards the light. Only Jesus can save the world from these immoral acts. The more of Him the world knows the better for us all.

4 thoughts on “Sexual assault: Some Things We Seldom Talk About And The way Forward

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