Things to know on singlehood

There has been a lot of fallacious thoughts and unwarranted social pressure that has dominated the SUBJECT OF SINGLEHOOD. Some think SINGLEHOOD is a curse probably from the bloodline. Others think SINGLEHOOD is a burden they must quickly lay off and move on. They sometimes even assume they might have probably been married spiritually and are just manifesting it now. All these and many others are false and those who readily give in to them would of a certainty fall into an abyss of manipulation either by the opposite sex or a false prophet. SINGLEHOOD is not dating or courtship. It is the prime foundation for the married life. It is at this stage where fortified pillars can be erected for the dream skyscraper marriage. Here, you can do so many things, that you can’t do as a couple or someone engaged. Don’t be in a hurry to leave this stage just because everybody around you is going out and denominations heighten the euphoria of dating. Don’t let the pressure of that gent or lady push you into dating. I would advice that you fully mature, enjoy and make the most of your SINGLEHOOD before thinking of entering a relationship. Note that SINGLEHOOD is a prime stage of your life and a transition zone for that matter. It is a phase similar to the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into butterfly. The nature and beauty of the butterfly so much depends on the caterpillar. And so is SINGLEHOOD to the glorious married life. GUESS WHAT, THE FUNNY TRUTH IS THAT ALMOST ALL THOSE WHO DO NOT PREPARE AND FULLY MATURE THEIR SINGLEHOOD STAGE AT A POINT IN THEIR LIVES ENVY THEIR SINGLE FRIENDS SECRETLY BUT WOULD NOT SHOW IT. AND IT IS CERTAIN THAT MOST PEOPLE GO OUT FOR GOING OUT SAKE ESPECIALLY YOUNGSTERS. The only way you can really enjoy your SINGLEHOOD is by accepting it as a necessary stage of your life. Be proud at this stage and don’t let family and friends sway you off. You are not inferior to those dating in anyway. Look, their dating will never affect God’s time for you. A time would come that when you finally get a soul mate that you will rarely recognise the others who started earlier. THE BEST WAY TO MAKE THE MOST OF SINGLEHOOD IS BY ADEQUATE PREPARATION

When it comes to single hood, your preparation would be dependent on the intentionality of focus not time. One may use a year or two if he or she chooses to focus. You can as well be there 10 years and nothing will change about you.

1. DEVELOP INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. It is at this stage that you will have all the time and focus to fellowship with your maker. Job 22:21, acquaint yourself with God that you may have peace, there in good may come to you. You will succumb the pressures that deny people of the blessedness of their SINGLEHOOD if you spend time to fellowship with God. Most people have their hearts broken during breakup because all is lost and gone. If you have a quality relationship with God, you know all is not lost- God got your back.

2. ACQUIRE KNOWLEDGE. Matthew 19:3 When the Pharisees came to tempt Jesus on the subject of marriage, Jesus answer directed them straight to reading. “Have ye not read?” There are certain questions and issues of life that are bound to confront you in the relationship or marriage that only knowledge will be the best deliverer. Jesus could have said have not prayed, have you not been to the university, etc. Jesus said have you not read. It will take you 6 years or 4 years or some number of years for you to be a medical doctor or Human Resource Personelle, Hair dresser, Dress maker and all kinds of jobs for the rest of your life, how many years of reading do you think you will need to be married all your life without retirement? 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise ye husbands dwell with her according to KNOWLEDGE. You will only be hostel mates living with your spouse than dwelling with them in peace. As you read books, you share in the knowledge of those who have gone ahead of you. This will prevent you from falling into similar pit.

3. DISCOVER YOUR PURPOSE PURSUE IT. God made us all help meet. As the man helps the woman the woman also helps the man. Women too have purposes that require that the guys also support them. If you don’t know your purpose I suggest to start the search now that you are a single. Your help meet will get confused with time as there would be nothing to help with.

4. DEVELOP YOUR CHARACTER. Love is sustained by character. Your outward appearance may be good and that’s the reason why a lot of ladies are around you or a lot of guys are proposing to you. If you don’t have the character to sustain the relationship, you will come back to single hood to learn your lesson. Among all the character deficiencies, work on self control. Because everybody has a self that has to be controlled.

5. PRAY TO BE LED IN MEETING THE ONE Prayer has always been the key and would be. A lot of people downplay or overemphasize the importance of prayer before relationship. Either ways is bad. Pray believing God that you will meet someone who will love, respect and cherish you for who you are whilst you keep up with the other preparatory points. Pray to God to be delivered from the hands of wicked and unreasonable men and strange women as well.

6. WRITING DOWN BOUNDARY LINES AND COMMITTING TO THEM. This is an important aspect of your preparation. Boundaries must be set during SINGLEHOOD and added upon during relationship and marriage. Don’t wait to discuss with your partner before you set some boundaries else you will break without knowing. Set standards for yourself, what you can do and not do in SINGLEHOOD, Relationship and Marriage. WRITE THEM DOWN NOW AND COMMIT TO THEM. It will deliver you some day to come. Some guys are like okro whiles some ladies like …. Before you realise you would have spoilt yourself. It should also be noted that these boundaries must be set on the premise of sound doctrine and a pure conscience before God. Anything outside this would likely not prevail.

7. PREPARE YOUR MIND TO COMMIT YOURSELF TO THE END. Every relationship or marriage naturally comes with its own issue. If you enter with a mindset that you will leave if things become tough, it will be hard to overcome them. DON’T BE THE REASON WHY THE RELATIONSHIP WOULD NOT WORK. Choose your best option and stick with it- the good and ugly.

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