“Morality is a delusion that fools wear like a comforting cloak”.
I’ve had interactions and morally penetrative discussions with a lot of people in relationships, and one thing that seems to show up in every instance is the question “When should I start thinking about myself?”, Or, “When is it okay to be selfish and put my own happiness first?”
Hmmm… Such a debacle! Where is the line supposed to be drawn? The line between sacrificing your happiness for your partner’s sake, to keep your relationship going, and making yourself happy by doing what you really want.
Let me put it this way. You’re in love with someone. Yes, no doubt, you really want things to work out between you two. But, there’s a little problem. There are some things you need from your partner that he/she cannot provide. But then, you really need to get that desire or request fulfilled, else you won’t be happy. What do you do? Do you keep trying to ignore it and continue to feel unhappy or you go behind your partner’s back and get what you so desire?
The answer? I don’t know, but maybe you can help me find it by the end of this post.
Now, I would give real life instances where this comes into play. Please read with an open mind and comment what you think about this whole issue.
- A guy is in a relationship with a girl. They’re teenagers, so obviously they’re both pretty pumped up with raging hormones, but the girl has more control. The guy wants to have sex, but the girl isn’t in compliance. The guy doesn’t wanna starve himself because sex is a normal act(putting our religious and cultural beliefs aside and thinking scientifically) and once you hit the adolescent age, you have to do something to satisfy your sexual desire. So, the question is, would it be wrong for the guy to have sex with a different girl without any emotional attachment? Would it be considered cheating since he does not even do it with his partner? Let me know in the comment section.
2. A girl has a boyfriend. The girl is the outgoing type, really active on the outside, loves going out and all, but the guy is the indoors type. The girl wants to hang out with the guy at a public place, but the guy is too shy and is not comfortable going out. Would it be wrong if the girl goes out with a different guy? Is it qualified to be called cheating? Please let me know in the comment section.
3. A girl has a boyfriend. She knows he’s not really rich. The girl needs money urgently and asks a different guy(who may be interested in her) for help. Is she wrong to do that?
Now, putting the cases stated above together, and others you may know about, let’s say for the first situation, the guy finds a girl to have sex with, and it keeps going on for a while.
That means, the guy has a sexual partner who is not his girlfriend. Ergo, he has another relationship of some sort with someone else apart from his girlfriend.
Now, think of all other situations where one partner needs something from the other, but cannot get it, but he or she is in love and doesn’t want to let go of his or her partner, but goes on to find someone else to satisfy his or her desire. Does it make him or her selfish? Does it make him or her a bad person? In your opinion, what should be done, if you think that it is wrong to do that?
Morality is a very dynamic ideology, and being in a relationship is very complicated and takes a lot of hard work. Should something like this arise in your relationship, what are you gonna do? Keep denying yourself of that happiness or go out and find it elsewhere?
I know not the answer to that, but I hope you can help me find out. So, please tell me, IS IT REALLY WRONG TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE PARTNER?
The importance of this issue is underrated. It is something we really need to be talking about because it ruins a lot of beautiful relationsips that may have led to something great. Let’s get interactive.
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