IS IT REALLY WRONG TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE PARTNER?

“Morality is a delusion that fools wear like a comforting cloak”.

I’ve had interactions and morally penetrative discussions with a lot of people in relationships, and one thing that seems to show up in every instance is the question “When should I start thinking about myself?”, Or, “When is it okay to be selfish and put my own happiness first?”

Hmmm… Such a debacle! Where is the line supposed to be drawn? The line between sacrificing your happiness for your partner’s sake, to keep your relationship going, and making yourself happy by doing what you really want.

Let me put it this way. You’re in love with someone. Yes, no doubt, you really want things to work out between you two. But, there’s a little problem. There are some things you need from your partner that he/she cannot provide. But then, you really need to get that desire or request fulfilled, else you won’t be happy. What do you do? Do you keep trying to ignore it and continue to feel unhappy or you go behind your partner’s back and get what you so desire?
The answer? I don’t know, but maybe you can help me find it by the end of this post.

Now, I would give real life instances where this comes into play. Please read with an open mind and comment what you think about this whole issue.

  1. A guy is in a relationship with a girl. They’re teenagers, so obviously they’re both pretty pumped up with raging hormones, but the girl has more control. The guy wants to have sex, but the girl isn’t in compliance. The guy doesn’t wanna starve himself because sex is a normal act(putting our religious and cultural beliefs aside and thinking scientifically) and once you hit the adolescent age, you have to do something to satisfy your sexual desire. So, the question is, would it be wrong for the guy to have sex with a different girl without any emotional attachment? Would it be considered cheating since he does not even do it with his partner? Let me know in the comment section.

2. A girl has a boyfriend. The girl is the outgoing type, really active on the outside, loves going out and all, but the guy is the indoors type. The girl wants to hang out with the guy at a public place, but the guy is too shy and is not comfortable going out. Would it be wrong if the girl goes out with a different guy? Is it qualified to be called cheating? Please let me know in the comment section.

3. A girl has a boyfriend. She knows he’s not really rich. The girl needs money urgently and asks a different guy(who may be interested in her) for help. Is she wrong to do that?

Now, putting the cases stated above together, and others you may know about, let’s say for the first situation, the guy finds a girl to have sex with, and it keeps going on for a while.
That means, the guy has a sexual partner who is not his girlfriend. Ergo, he has another relationship of some sort with someone else apart from his girlfriend.
Now, think of all other situations where one partner needs something from the other, but cannot get it, but he or she is in love and doesn’t want to let go of his or her partner, but goes on to find someone else to satisfy his or her desire. Does it make him or her selfish? Does it make him or her a bad person? In your opinion, what should be done, if you think that it is wrong to do that?

Morality is a very dynamic ideology, and being in a relationship is very complicated and takes a lot of hard work. Should something like this arise in your relationship, what are you gonna do? Keep denying yourself of that happiness or go out and find it elsewhere?

I know not the answer to that, but I hope you can help me find out. So, please tell me, IS IT REALLY WRONG TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE PARTNER?

The importance of this issue is underrated. It is something we really need to be talking about because it ruins a lot of beautiful relationsips that may have led to something great. Let’s get interactive.

Click here to read my previous post: Previous post by Haleem Karmil

36 thoughts on “IS IT REALLY WRONG TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE PARTNER?

  1. Huh what a topic, only problem is I don’t have answers to the questions asked. Will be checking the comments section often, may find one.

  2. Personally, l wouldn’t be happy with my partner having sex with another girl and I believe sex is ñot the main goal in a relationship so l disagree.
    Also if my partner is not the outgoing type, it doesn’t mean I should hang with other guys , at least we can agree on something that both of us are interested in and do that rather than focusing on what I like only.

    1. I see your point, Gina.
      Thank you.
      Yes, it’s true, sex is not the main goal in a relationship, but it’s important, nonetheless. So what would you have your boyfriend do if you were in that situation?

      I like your thoughts on the second point too. Thanks for your comment!

      1. Well from your first question I consider that as cheating. From my understanding cheating is when you go behind your partner to get satisfied Okay. We all know relationship is a commitment so as Sex.
        It isn’t wrong for a girl to hung out with a different guy as far as there is nothing emotional attached to it in a relationship your partners happiness should be your happiness.

  3. A double minded person is unstable in all his ways. Having a partner for sex and another partner for relationship is absolutly going to destroy the relationship one.

  4. If u don’t want to do what ur partner desires why did u get into the relationship first…if u r not willing to do what the partner wants don’t enter a relationship …

    1. I believe it’s best the pair talks about their expectations from each other before going into a relationship

  5. Well, if the the multiple partners are aware of each other then it’s not really wrong what makes it wrong would be if the partners don’t know that they’re sharing and think they’re alone in the relationship…
    They’re are some people who would still agree to have sexual relationships with you even though they’re fully aware you’re in another relationship, in such a case, the other partner should be alerted. If he/she is cool with it fine if not, they find a way out

      1. Before you go into a relationship you’ve got to know your proposed paterner before mentioning the 3 letter words or even accepting.No need to rush into a relationship knowing that your proposed paterner’s way of life makes you uncomfortable.

        But if you claim you love the person you can do away with those desires depending on how you want to build your relationship.

        Note:Most relationships nowadays are lustful ones.

  6. I feel morality is not the only reason or always the reason why people stick to one partner no matter what. Like you said in your post, relationships require hardworking. What this means is that you commit yourself to make not only yourself happy but your partner as well.
    If it is fine with your partner that you cheat just to satisfy your temporary needs, then no problem but if not, just think of how hurt they will be.
    That is why there is something as ‘open relationship’. Nobody wants to be hurt and get cheated on all in the name of ‘I am being selfish for once’ or ‘I am putting my happiness first’. Then you should opt for an ‘open relationship’ then so that your partner doesn’t feel hurt. Just imagine they decide to sacrifice to stay committed and you decide to succumb to your hormones and cheat? Are you saying they don’t think about their happiness too then?
    My answer to all your questions are, one should be matured to handle such situations before going into relationships because once you are in a relationship, you are in a commitment. Note that maturity has nothing to do with age.

  7. Before you go into a relationship you’ve got to know your proposed paterner before mentioning the 3 letter words or even accepting.No need to rush into a relationship knowing that your proposed paterner’s way of life makes you uncomfortable.

    But if you claim you love the person you can do away with those desires depending on how you want to build your relationship.

    Note:Most relationships nowadays are lustful ones.

  8. Before you go into a relationship you’ve got to know your proposed paterner before mentioning the 3 letter words or even accepting.No need to rush into a relationship knowing that your proposed paterner’s way of life makes you uncomfortable.

    But if you claim you love the person you can do away with those desires depending on how you want to build your relationship.

    Note:Most relationships nowadays are lustful ones.

  9. From your write up, I guess your stance quite clear, so emphatically state it or tell otherwise. Putting morality and religion aside, your scenario about raging hormones shouldn’t be used as a yardstick to have multiple partners. It was designed to ensure perpetuation of a specie. We eat to live, a daily activity also controlled by hormones and equally with rewarding systems,I don’t think we “fuck to live”😂. the urge for sexual satisfaction is mainly due to the rewarding system in sex as seen in one caught up in gluttony. If its your first, it would probably be due to curiosity or pp. And the ability of self control is one human defining factor. Imagine a world if we all try to satisfy our cravings, including that of a murderous psychopath who is acting all cool😅 . its simple, once your partner wouldn’t accept the terms, simple find another, after all, its a partnership where both sides should be fine, again, love its but a choice, the feeling is just infatuation. It’s even easier to find fuckmates and people interested in open relationships

  10. Thumbs up brother for this piece👍
    I think relationship is about sacrificing and so I don’t see the argument that my happiness first. Then you should stay alone and keep yourself happy as much as you want than get someone else involved
    You guys should know the flaw of each other and be ready to deal with that before going in

    1. I believe relationship is all about compromising
      Ok so you’re not the outgoing type of person
      You have to put in effort to change a little else you’ll lose that relationship
      Going out with a different guy with no emotional attachment and like you’re friends isn’t cheating

  11. All things being equal, its very wrong to have two partners. Even without considering the two partners, think of yourself. It undermines your human dignity and lowers your self esteem. A rational person will end the relationship with the first person where he or she is not getting what he /she needs and go for the partner that suits his qualities. That is to say, even before dating, you should have known your potential partner for some time taking into account her likes and dislikes so that you don’t end up breaking so many hearts. Its painful to break a heart.

  12. All things being equal, it’s very wrong to have two partners
    Forget of the opposite sex’s involved and consider yourself
    It undermines your human dignity and lowers your self esteem
    A rational person, excuse me to say will end up the relationship where he or she is losing
    And go for the partner that suits his or her values
    That is to say, even before jumping into the relationship, you should have known your partner for some time taking into account her likes and dislikes as well as plans
    So that you don’t end up breaking multiple hearts. Its painful to break a heart.

  13. Well, everyone deserves to be happy. That said, you should do what it takes to give you that happiness. I wouldn’t blame meself if I have external relationships behind me girl’s back if she denies me sex. Which I very much enjoy. Lol. That’s unspeakable. If your guy cannot give you what you need to be content or happy, and you find it elsewhere, God seff will not be happy if you don’t go to that elsewhere. Thank you😐

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