~Haleem Karmil

“To me, women are just disposable tools; objects that exist exclusively for amusement and satisfaction, and nothing more. Chasing after a woman is a total waste of time and resources, and I don’t have either to spare.”, a dear classmate of mine answered when we asked him about his love life after suggesting to him that we had never observed him having a close relationship with any girl.

Obviously, his response was not received well by our peers as many expressed their distaste after hearing what he said.
A few even asked him if that’s how he felt about his mother and sisters.
Much like our peers, I didn’t agree with what he said either, but I did not express how I felt. Later that day, I took some time off to think long and hard about what he had said, and I realized that there was some truth to it.
Don’t misunderstand me, I am no misogynist, neither do I think women are any less than men or are below them, but the truth is that a lot of women in our world today behave in such a way that necessitates such thinking.

Let me give you a quick instance:
As a guy, it has always been tough(honestly, impossible 99.8% of the time) to make any female friends.
I do not know if it’s because they’re programmed to see all males as good-for-nothing predators who are up to no good or if they are naturally as resistant as a fast-mutating viral strain, but I get turned down almost every time I propose friendship to a lady(I don’t think it’s because of my looks though, cause I’m not that bad… Or am I?😂) And even when I do get past that hurdle, all the next stages are boss-levels as I’m the one who has to strike up a conversation every time and also keep checking up on her, and that really sucks for someone like me, who finds it difficult talking to people(You could say I’m introverted).
Basically, I have to do everything. It’s like I’m pre-required to have a lot to offer, and if I give anything less, it’s GAME OVER for me.
Now, if I want to get her attention and inch closer to her, I’d have to take her out and treat her to a good lunch, right? Not just once, and not twice, but as many times as needed.

I don’t think I have to keep going, cause I’m sure by now, you see my point.
Males, females, we’re all humans. So why do I have to be the one to pay that price for friendship, companionship and love? Does it mean that if I’m not rich, I can’t make any female friends or I can’t ever have a girlfriend? That’s pretty tough, don’t you think?

As much as we’d like to escape it, the reality is that we’re human. Our designs are flawed. Selfishness is part of us, and no one likes to be cheated. The thing is, after spending all that time, money and other resources to get closer to the girl, the guy is definitely gonna want value for his resources spent. He would undoubtedly want something from the girl in order to feel satisfied and know that he has not wasted his resources.
Through no fault of his, his psyche starts to objectify the girl and brand her as a prize; a bounty to be claimed to pay off the accumulated debts incurred over the whole period.
The thing is, this is perfectly normal because that is what makes us human.

This is what is misconstrued by the other gender and makes them assume things like all men are predators who are chasing after girls only for sex.

I know many will not agree with this post, and that is also normal. Please leave your thoughts in the comments section so we can interact.

Also, I am well aware that not all girls are like this.
But I would emphatically state that majority of the other gender fall under this category.

There’s a lot more to say, but I’ll save that for another time. I’m sure you understand now why men see women as objects. I hope this reaches you well and gets you thinking about things. ASÉ!

Click here to read my next post: Next post by Haleem Karmil


  1. I personally think it is the perception of boy-girl relationship that has been misconstrued because of the current trends we see day in day out in movies, pressure from our peers and many others. “Males, females, we’re all humans” yes indeed we are, but society has more or less mandated us to play all those roles you cited in your examples.

  2. You’re no different from a misogynist….meanwhile you came out of a woman may God forgive you for this….if this is how you see your mom,sisters,daughters,wife they should be very ashamed of you….you need to render an apology to all women….get into the shoes of women for just a week then come back to write something sensible

  3. Great content but then, there is a whole to this than what you’ve mentioned. It’s a two way deal, one sided never works.

  4. You just hit the nail right on the head. People may not agree but your concluding paragraphs really do sum it up. We may not see it that way because it has become as some kind of norm. It has become part of the societal systems. You write well. Thanks for sharing this.

  5. Wow!!! You did well. It was really wonderful. But i still don’t think it’s right for some men to objectify some women.

  6. “his psyche starts to objectify the girl and brand her as a prize; a bounty to be claimed to pay off the accumulated debts incurred over the whole period”.Wooooow!
    Very insightful Sir.Thank you!You are one of a kind!

    1. Nice piece bro…kudos on that!! But so as our world has become so materialistic and so our ladies. It’s almost like most of them are so much into the material gains of a relationship than what they’d get of its emotional impact of having company and someone u know u can always turn to when u’re feeling down. And so the they go into relationship always expecting to be at the receiving end and that even same for marriages not just the boy-girl relationship. So it won’t be strange if guys begin to speak that way of them and I believe even colleagues of theirs who has that self dignity and would always want to get things done by themselves to always have that feeling of miss independent and be respected by men will attest to that fact. Co’s every investor would like to always have his returns at the end of the bargain, but what then do girls want to offer in this investment either than their bodies mostly which therefore leading to their objectification. Co’s it’s like relationship sometimes feels like owning a bike and always paying for it maintenance. It’s mostly heartaching to hear such utterance made about our ladies (future mothers) but mostly deserving for some of them. SO I JUST WANNA GIVE A BIG SALUT TO THOSE LADIES STILL OUT THERE WHO DON’T ALWAYS WANNA BE ON THE RECEIVING END BUT ALWAY TRY TO MAKE THEIR WORTH FELT. IT AIN’T WATCHU GIVE PEOPLE IT’S HOW YOU DO IT AND MAKING THEM FEEL U WOULD DO EVEN BETTER IF U HAD AND ALSO THAT FEELING OF BEING APPRECIATED AND NOT BEING USED!!!

  7. I think he has a point, most guys complain a lot about this issue about ladies as the subordinates in every relationship as they always have to take the first step to start any relationship with the opposite sex

  8. From what I have read is basically true! Most girls are really in to materialistic things. In other for a guy to give you all those he will surely be expecting something in return.
    Advice to my ladies don’t go into every boy-girl relationships

  9. Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude!
    Thanks, However I am encountering issues with your RSS.
    I don’t know the reason why I can’t subscribe to it.
    Is there anyone else getting identical RSS problems? Anyone that knows the answer
    will you kindly respond? Thanks!!

  10. I dnt doubt wat u said cos we all see dis happening every now and den in our lives buh honestly,i tink wat i give at de begining of a relationship is wat u will get as tym goes on cos dat was de basics of de relationship. If u founded ur relationdhip on money and not love i dnt tink u despirately be asking for love and complaining abt girls being materialistic and all. So de girl came to u secof de money u showed her nt love.
    So its jxt normal dat she leaves u wen u go broke
    Girls are nt objects☺

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  12. I’m glad you said not all girls are materialistic 💯 but one thing you didn’t talk about it that, most guys try to buy love and attention even when you tell them you’re not interested…. that’s where the one-sided relationship and high demands comes in . Some girls do that to drive that person away.

    Anyway We are waiting for the part two… Keep writing 💯

  13. I’m glad you said not all girls are materialistic 💯 but one thing you didn’t talk about it that, most guys try to buy love and attention even when you tell them you’re not interested…. that’s where the one-sided relationship and high demands comes in . Some girls do that to drive that person away.
    Anyway We are waiting for the part two… Keep writing 💯

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